The question comes up constantly. In coaching sessions. In workshops. In hallway conversations after the formal program is over and people feel comfortable enough to say what’s really on their mind.
“I’ve been here fourteen months. I think I’m doing well. My projects are on track. I’ve taken on extra responsibilities. But I have no idea where I stand with my boss. He never says anything positive. Last week I delivered a presentation that went really well—two clients commented on it specifically—and all I got was a nod.”
This is typically an American speaking about a German manager. The frustration is real. And it’s not about neediness or insecurity. It’s about a fundamental difference in how two cultures understand the purpose of praise.
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In America, praise is a leadership tool. Good leaders look for reasons to recognize people. They highlight what’s working. They name individual contributions. They create an environment where people feel valued, motivated, and confident. Praise is most important precisely when things are hard—when the team is struggling, when morale is low, when people need to hear that their effort matters.
The American logic: people perform better when they feel appreciated. Recognition fuels effort. A leader who withholds praise is a leader who fails to motivate.
In Germany, praise is earned through demonstrated achievement. When it comes, it is specific, factual, and proportionate. A German manager who says “gute Arbeit”—good work—means exactly that. The work was good. Not great, not exceptional. Good. And that is genuine recognition.
But it comes rarely. Not because the German manager doesn’t notice good performance. But because, from the German perspective, excessive praise devalues the currency. If everyone is always “doing a great job,” the words lose meaning. And worse—inflationary praise can lead to self-delusion. People stop knowing where they actually stand.
There is a German saying that captures this perfectly: Nicht geschimpft ist genug gelobt. “The absence of criticism is praise enough.”
Read that again. If your German boss is not criticizing your work, you are doing well. That’s the signal. Silence is approval.
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For Americans, this is almost impossible to internalize. The absence of feedback feels like the absence of attention. If the boss says nothing, maybe the boss doesn’t care. Maybe the work doesn’t matter. Maybe the next reorganization will prove it.
The American mind fills silence with worry. The German mind fills silence with trust.
Meanwhile, the German manager looks at the American team and sees a puzzling phenomenon: people who seem to need constant encouragement to do work they’re already doing well. It looks, from the German side, like a kind of emotional dependence that has no place in a professional setting. “Why do I need to tell an experienced engineer that their engineering is good? They know it’s good. That’s why I hired them.”
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Both sides lose something in this gap.
The American loses motivation. Not because they’re fragile, but because they’re operating in a feedback environment that doesn’t match their cultural expectations. A flower that needs sunlight is not weak—it’s a flower. It needs what it needs.
The German loses influence. A leader who never praises is a leader whose rare praise, when it finally arrives, may no longer carry weight—because the team has stopped listening for it. Or worse, the team has moved on entirely. The best Americans don’t stay in environments where they feel invisible.
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To Germans who lead Americans: get generous. It will feel unnatural. You will feel like you’re overpraising. You’re not. You’re calibrating to an environment where praise is fuel, not decoration. You don’t have to become a cheerleader. But find the wins and name them. In front of the team, not just in private. Your people will run harder for a leader who sees them.
To Americans who report to Germans: the absence of criticism is the signal. Your German boss noticed the good presentation. They noticed the extra responsibilities you took on. They noticed. The nod was the praise. And if you need more, ask for it—directly, privately, without drama. “I’d appreciate hearing more specifically how you see my performance.” A German will respect that request. And you may get the most honest, useful feedback of your career.
Why won’t your German boss tell you you’re doing a good job?
Maybe they already did. You just didn’t hear it.